So it has been one week since I had my MRI. I called into the office on Monday like I was told to do, and the Doctor had yet to review my scan.
"Your scan is on the surgeon's desk, and he will review it as soon as he can" is what the receptionist said to me.
I did not hear anything on the Monday or the Tuesday, so I called back in on Wednesday. I was then told that the Dr. had been in the operating room for the past two days; I was reassured that my file was on his desk and that I would get a call as soon as my scan was reviewed.... I have yet to receive a call.
The waiting game is no fun at all. If my life were a movie, now would be the perfect time for the film to cut away from me and have a new scene which would just focus in on my file sitting on the surgeons desk, perhaps showing a quick glimps of the report and a picture of the tumor, but no one in the audience would be able to understand medical terms or could tell if the tumor has shrunk (shrank?) or not. But, my life is not a movie, and so we continue to wait.
A few different scenarios play through my head...
Perhaps the Surgeon is just really busy and hasn't had time to review my report yet ( which probably is the case, or at least that's what I'm hoping). Or, perhaps he has reviewed my report, is studying it and is trying to come up with the best possible procedure to remove the tumor without doing any harm, and then he will present it to me. Or, he has reviewed it and it turns out that my tumor is not an ependymoma and is actually an astrocytoma (not good, especially where it is located) and it's inoperable, therefor he doesn't want me to know yet, because not knowing yet is better than knowing, and he doesn't think I need to know this now, especially since mother's day is coming up. I DON'T actually think the latter is the case, but I guess there is a small chance it could be true.
Again, being a mother to four children,who keep me extremely busy, I don't really have time to 'think' too much about what is going on, unless it's at 11pm when I should really be sleeping.
I am not scared to hear the results of my scan; If it turns out the tumor has shrunk, as well as the cysts, and I'll just need to continue to have MRI's for the next few months/years - that's great! If it turns out that I will need the surgery in the next month- bring it on! If it turns out the tumor is inoperable and I have X more years to live- time to get going on that bucket list.
Hopefully I will hear something sooner than later.
Thank you to all of you who have been checking in on my daily with calls, gifts, flowers, cards, messages, and to those of you who are just thinking of me.
I will be sure to update you all once I hear anything from the surgeon's office.
-Eileen
